Well of Illusions!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

i shall try to type this with as few vulgarities as possible.

how can people expect me to be happy with my life when it sucks so badly. i don't feel like living anymore. no matter what i do, it just won't be enough for some people, for my parents, for my peers, for my friends even.

i'm just like everyone, i want to do well. just take chem for example. i really can't be bothered to pay attention in class because i will never get chem as long as it's taught by that stupid idiotic white rabbit of a teacher koh siak peng. seriously people may say he tries but he just sucks as a teacher. incompetent, over-enthusiastic at all the wrong moments...he may think he's trying to do something good but he's not. he really has no idea. or maybe he isn't even trying to...he probably treats the se classes better than all his ge classes put together.

and my parents. i don't know whether they will ever understand. i'm not one to mug and study hardcore like a certain 4.0 everyone refers to all the time. it just makes me sick. if all you can do is study, what's the point of that? has anyone ever taken a look at what else he's done besides studying? i thought so.

it just pisses me off when all people look at is academics. yeah it's the way this world is run, and boy is it a really sucky way to go about life. it really stifles creativity. it's exactly my mother...totally anti-art, anti-creativity. entirely pro-math, pro-science...pro-boring way of life.

it's not really a boring way of life per se. if you really want your life to be all about books then well, good luck to you i have nothing more to say. but for once i just wish that grades weren't the only things that defined someone's entire life. people don't have to be academically profficient to succeed in life, that has been proven many a time, but people just don't seem to take notice, stupid as they are.

what kind of idiotic course of action is it to have dmps in term 4, and leave so little time for the syllabus to be completed that the students have to stay back after school to attend extra lessons? i'm not even sure whether they have any inkling of the concept that less sometimes is more, such is the way that ri has tried to cram so much into our heads this year.

which is why it pisses me off everytime someone says that rgs is learning more than us. like hell they are. how can they? they'd all be dead by now. i don't even understand half the things that i'm doing in class. not to say that i'm the brightest in class, but i do have enough self-respect to say that i can do well enough if i can be bothered to study.

but if the school isn't even going to take care of our welfare by ensuring that we actually have enough time and are given enough materials to fully and sufficiently comprehend the subject, then i don't see why i should be applying myself to my full capability. because it's obvious that some of the teachers aren't.

if i could pick my teachers at will, i would. but that's impossible, isn't it.

which is why i think i'd rather not take my eoys.

the other alternative is this close to becoming the only way.

i did it! not a swear word in sight.

now i can die in peace.

slau updated @ 10:21 PM

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