Well of Illusions!

Friday, September 28, 2007

lol...haven't been blogging at all because of this revelation that is facebook. but recently i've gotten quite sick of it so yeah, back to the old grinder that is blogspot.

not much to talk about...dmp's just ended, open cat audition for rafflesian spotlight tomorrow with NICE BASKET :D haha and er my solo was on tuesday! meh...had the dubious honour of going first but i thought i did ok...could have been better obviously >< see this is the perfect attitude for acing your eoys! aim for perfection!

lol who am i kidding i'm obviously blogging cos i'm pissed about something -_-

you know, seriously, some people think i like to be made fun of. as if it's very encouraging to hear people laugh at you because of something you did. and to that particular someone, the fuck are you to talk about friends when you don't even know how to support fellow friends.

bloody hell if you don't want to spend the effort to tell me what's wrong then i'll do it for you! you always think you're so bloody smart, and when i actually try to d something for you i can't help thinking what you'll say if it fails.

and it didn't! but even then...?

you know what happened i don't have to say.

but really, you piss me off as much as i do you. so you're not the only one being angry.

and you have no grasp at all of the concept of trust. you have no idea how to trust people, so why should i bother getting you to try to trust me? obviously it'd just fall flat on its face and you'd start calling me weird and whatever crap nonsense you and your friends can come up with. i cannot start to fathom the depths of you and your posse's creativity because obviously ALL of you think SO differently from us that you can't see why we bother about certain stuff right? everything is just WEIRD or SCREWED UP to you?

why the fuck am i even wasting my time on this bullshit when i have eoys in a week's time?

is it because i care? i don't know, you go make your own judgements because obviously that's all that matters right?

maybe you should just SCREW OFF and join your bloody friends elsewhere since you're going to hate __ so much? no matter how many nice people you meet, no matter how many nice things people do for you, you never appreciate it do you? you don't bother to show any appreciation or gratitude.

damn you.

slau updated @ 2:32 AM

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Friday, September 21, 2007

slau updated @ 1:03 AM

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Monday, September 17, 2007

dig the colour changes! :O

<3 the solo! ahhh! so cool T_T and the guitarist in the hat! mwahaha inspiration!

slau updated @ 10:17 PM

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

hi! once again, i shall speak in SONG because that makes me so happening ney? :D

"no more sorrow"

Are you lost, In your lies?
Do you tell yourself, I don't realize?
Your crusade's a disguise
Replace freedom with fear,
You trade money for lives.

I'm aware of what you've done.

No, no more sorrow.
I've paid for your mistakes.
Your time is borrowed.
Your time has come to be replaced.

I see pain, I see need.
I see liars and thieves,
Abuse power with greed.
I had hope, I believed.
But I'm beginning to think that I've been deceived.

You will pay for what you've done.

No, no more sorrow.
I've paid for your mistakes.
Your time is borrowed.
Your time has come to be replaced.

Thieves and hypocrites.
Thieves and hypocrites.
Thieves and hypocrites.

No, no more sorrow.
I've paid for your mistakes.
Your time is borrowed.
Your time has come to be replaced.

No more sorrow.
I've paid for your mistakes.
Your time is borrowed.
Your time has come to be replaced.

Your time has come to be replaced.
Your time has come to be erased.

no more emo alr la now is ANGST i'm going to KILL someone :D

slau updated @ 10:07 PM

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the past few days have just made me realise how low i am in the hierachy of life. obviously people don't have the time for losers like me. they'd be having a much better time being with someone else. whoever it is doesn't make a difference, just as long as it's not moi.

well fine, at least it will never make me guilty of hubris.

slau updated @ 12:24 AM

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

phew. this has been a very tiresome past few days. been trying to abstain from doing certain undesirable things (no, not surfing porn) but just haven't been able to do so.

fma is turning out to be very exciting! and yes i have been getting everything that's going on so far after they FINALLY got all the basics clear by the 4th volume. or was it the 5th? can't remember exactly but yeah most of everything's cleared up already which is a HUGE relief because i had fears that i'd have to go through the entire series not knowing how edward got to perform alchemy without a runic circle :/

and YES the homonculli really add an extra touch to the whole thing...oolala twist and turns aplenty!

i have decided to become a very bad boy (:

know why?

because now i have pride in reason. YOUR reason. you taught me to be realistic and practical, so hell yeah that's what i'm going to be.

my problems, your problems. go fucking solve them yourself i won't need to cheebye emo to anyone ever again.

slau's going solo

slau updated @ 11:58 PM

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

no seetow i am not that dirty pls kthx -_-

see i have this random urge to update my blog now. been blogging alot more than usual but those don't really count do they, cos they're nothing more than random rantings brought about by my unexpected bouts of emo-fever.

i've been reading fma these few days...just something to keep me busy between waiting times for the different episodes of d.gray-man to get uploaded, and then for moose to save them into my thumbdrive for me...he rocks la and to think i don't pay him! :O

but so far fma has only succeeded in confusing me -_-

which reminds me i better go charge my psp now...

so anyway i don't get why edward and alphonse have to do a hell lot of stuff and what a hell lot of stuff happens for but i shall not spoiler myself on wiki!

I SHALL NOT!

and another thing is i don't see why people want to go and torture themselves by reading the bloody chinese version of the comic -_- it's so irrational la you pay 3.50 less, and you get a book of foreign words half of which you don't understand? i hate chinese a fking hell lot as it is anyway, so i wouldn't want anymore of it in my life would i?

and i don't understand how people can have the patience to wait for each page to load everytime they read it online either. i'd freak at having to wait a few seconds for every page to appear...i read comics super duper slowly as it is (one subplot for civil war takes me about 4days to finish) because of my attention to detail, unlike some other people who just SKIM through it in a matter of hours forgoing the instrinsic detail that the artists at marvel or dc have gone through such PAIN to include. so ya! reading it on the hard copy is EASIER DUH!

and therefore this makes daniel the WORST of all! because he reads them ONLINE and in CHINESE WTF

well yesterday also marked the start of our dmp and we got it off on a superb note with CHINESE! :D like seriously what better way to introduce us to the concept of extra-curriculur learning with a SECOND LANGUAGE! i so wish i didn't need to study chinese please like no matter what people say about how up and coming chinese is, it will never take the place of english like HALLO!?

stupid china la always cause this kind of problems... -_-

so far i've gotten acquainted with two of my...4 dmp modules, both of which are history based. first one is about the power of ideas la which is abit errr cos it's like part philosophical part historical and i'm really not a philosophical kind of person. like to be or not to be? couldn't care less about those kinds of stuff...and i'm always the one to say like just stfu and go comply with the rules la why you want to step out of line and cause yourself so much trouble for what.

which is really quite ironic because at the end of the year i might just find myself breaking many of these rules that i have set for myself (:

no elaboration on that required!

the next module is about cold war which is kind of like history and LIT imbued together into 12 hours of cock and rubbish cos mr JANUS LIM is the teacher for this module! :D and obviously we've made a very big impression on his life last year because the first thing he said when he came in was 'hello 4p' (:

haha xD

but it's quite boring la fortunately mr lim has the uncanny ability to make everything that bit more interesting and that really helped but cake as always just fell asleep halfway -_- well, he'll get used to it.

tomorrow i have a PE module coming up, as well as another english module...bleh so far i've been quite lucky to be going for modules where i know people, but CURSE YOU NEO!

neo has been causing me to freak out with the fervour and enthusiasm that has taken over his body and is causing him to spam math revision day in day out. like seriously i almost got a heart attack the only thing he did during history dmp on ideas today was...math -_- damn him la but i shall not be moved! i have a schedule and i shall stick to it!

though i wish i was a math pro like now T_T

oh yeah after school we went to visit nat, who has dengue :/ get well soon nat! if you ever read this -_-

and ben tay and the rest of the guys had ALOT of fun at the nuh hospital playground yes they did -_-

me? i didn't bother reliving my second childhood lol i just stood by and watched (:

oh well back to bio pour moi!

slau updated @ 7:51 PM

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Sunday, September 9, 2007

"Kill"

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance? (chance?)
Or only one way that it was always meant to be (be)
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain (vain)
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means (means)
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
(Know what you want to say)
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant

I can't help it baby, this is who I am (am)
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel (feel)
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

speaking through a song
because what i say obviously doesn't matter for fuck anymore

slau updated @ 1:16 AM

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I HATE YOU

i don't know WHY i still talk to you when my day always seems to end like FUCK after talking to you...

DAMN have i got to kick this habit

habit refers to whatever you can infer from it! infer away! damn fucking pissed off now! 2 years fucking wasted! emo over something, totally for nothing!

i should become gay! an emotionless freak, sociopath, introvert...

UNCARING

UNCONCERNED

UNINTERESTED

THE WHOLE WORLD CAN GO FUCK ITSELF

BECAUSE

I JUST FUCKING WASTED TWO WHOLE YEARS OF MY DAMN LIFE

it all started with me not getting into tennis.

slau updated @ 12:58 AM

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Friday, September 7, 2007

how does my mood swing so much in a matter of hours

slau updated @ 11:54 PM

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HSM 2 SUCKS

TURN BASEBALL INTO A GHEY SPORT

WTF

slau updated @ 10:29 PM

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

hi PEE-O-PELS!

right, enough of all the emo heart-wrenching stuff! my life doesn't revolve just around all those sickening stuff...much too busy for that really.

actually managed to get to see a lot more of the east side of singapore today! i really should be getting out more. now i know you can actually WALK to east coast park just by going all the way down the park connector!

kudos to liann who showed me the wonders of this universe! how blind i was T_T

but heh halfway it started to rain! and when i opened the umbrella...i couldn't help running that stupid song through my head!

can't really remember the lyrics but...that's why i've linked gwyneth's blog! :D

"you can stand under my umbrella
when the sun shine(s) we'll shine together"

and on and on until the rain stopped xDD

but haha yeah! i can't skate for nuts T_T looking at the small kids just going round and round the little skating area...sham la dunno where to hide my face xDD...

but it was a very good experiance really the beach can be very soothing...except for the random couples MAKING OUT IN THEIR TENTS! it's not just enough having to HEAR them la they actually COME OUT OF THEIR TENTS AFTER THAT! so disgusting xD but equally amusing! haha xDD

after that the sand started cutting into my skin! and i got damn pissed at the blister that for the first few minutes of my entire life, i wasn't pissed at life! ya! a blister helped me forget about life!

now i know why people slit themselves -_-

but i'm not going to! so no worries!

and i've been very mean to some people la...i think i just expect some people to be there for me all the time but...argh this wouldn't be happening if i wasn't so screwed up and weak and pathetic...

OK NO EMO OMG SLAU!

kns...

lips of an angel by hinder is very nice!

"girl you make it hard to be faithful
with the lips of an angel"

sigh (:

well to give a brief update exams are coming! lol...and i dunno really how i'm going to do for my eoys this time because i really don't know what to expect from ri this time round...but this is not going to turn into am emo post so...!!

this weekend there's slowpitch also! sian going to get home damn tired after that T_T

and i watched hairspray on tuesday! with shifu! yes john travolta is damn sick T_T esp the dance COME ON MAN rate that la! censor it or something THINK OF THE CHILDREN!! sick FAT PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DANCE AROUND IN THEIR BACKYARDS!

and the concept of zac eventually falling for a fat girl is NEVER EVER GOING TO HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE! that's just too farfetched...

and some people say i dream too much -_-

and AMANDA BYNES JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER

NOW SHE CAN SING AND DANCE

AND ACT

AND BE FUNNY

I LOVE AMANDA BYNES!

slau updated @ 11:47 PM

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walao! why must kermit sing such a sad sad song!

makes me cry all the time T_T

DAMN YOU LA KERMIT!

slau updated @ 2:49 PM

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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

slau updated @ 12:59 PM

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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

i shall try to type this with as few vulgarities as possible.

how can people expect me to be happy with my life when it sucks so badly. i don't feel like living anymore. no matter what i do, it just won't be enough for some people, for my parents, for my peers, for my friends even.

i'm just like everyone, i want to do well. just take chem for example. i really can't be bothered to pay attention in class because i will never get chem as long as it's taught by that stupid idiotic white rabbit of a teacher koh siak peng. seriously people may say he tries but he just sucks as a teacher. incompetent, over-enthusiastic at all the wrong moments...he may think he's trying to do something good but he's not. he really has no idea. or maybe he isn't even trying to...he probably treats the se classes better than all his ge classes put together.

and my parents. i don't know whether they will ever understand. i'm not one to mug and study hardcore like a certain 4.0 everyone refers to all the time. it just makes me sick. if all you can do is study, what's the point of that? has anyone ever taken a look at what else he's done besides studying? i thought so.

it just pisses me off when all people look at is academics. yeah it's the way this world is run, and boy is it a really sucky way to go about life. it really stifles creativity. it's exactly my mother...totally anti-art, anti-creativity. entirely pro-math, pro-science...pro-boring way of life.

it's not really a boring way of life per se. if you really want your life to be all about books then well, good luck to you i have nothing more to say. but for once i just wish that grades weren't the only things that defined someone's entire life. people don't have to be academically profficient to succeed in life, that has been proven many a time, but people just don't seem to take notice, stupid as they are.

what kind of idiotic course of action is it to have dmps in term 4, and leave so little time for the syllabus to be completed that the students have to stay back after school to attend extra lessons? i'm not even sure whether they have any inkling of the concept that less sometimes is more, such is the way that ri has tried to cram so much into our heads this year.

which is why it pisses me off everytime someone says that rgs is learning more than us. like hell they are. how can they? they'd all be dead by now. i don't even understand half the things that i'm doing in class. not to say that i'm the brightest in class, but i do have enough self-respect to say that i can do well enough if i can be bothered to study.

but if the school isn't even going to take care of our welfare by ensuring that we actually have enough time and are given enough materials to fully and sufficiently comprehend the subject, then i don't see why i should be applying myself to my full capability. because it's obvious that some of the teachers aren't.

if i could pick my teachers at will, i would. but that's impossible, isn't it.

which is why i think i'd rather not take my eoys.

the other alternative is this close to becoming the only way.

i did it! not a swear word in sight.

now i can die in peace.

slau updated @ 10:21 PM

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Sunday, September 2, 2007

finally! it's over! not sure whether i'm happy or sad now but heck it's over! and i didn't screw up!

as in, really i didn't screw up lol i don't think i made any mistakes oO just that part where i got lost heh...forgot my cue xD but nobody heard it so...(:

and the guitar didn't fall apart! ): sad...

and hiok's string broke! xD

but everyone should have been there the half hour before the performance...i think fzh and i went to the toilet a grand total of like, 5 times? lol xD super nervous! but once everything started i think it was ok (:

and i really have crazy friends -facepalm. i didn't see the bench cos of the light...couldn't see any of the audience besides the first row but hehe thanks for the effort and i'm hoping no one gets into trouble for that xD

well, i'd also like to thank everyone for coming! and showing support before during and after the performance even though no one could hear me properly :/ yeah of course i'm abit pissed but well...hear the guitars la! sounds nice too what!

and at least kevin managed to hear from backstage (: so one person got to hear me! yay good!

and i'd like to thank hiok and jon ho and whoever else for giving me this opportunity! maybe i won't have to go to the toilet so many times before our next performance yes?

and bek! for being er lol a good second guitarist! don't know him well enough though xD

and fzh the crazy fk who always thinks he sucks but i think he's better than i ever was lol...

yup! and thanks to everyone also! and my emo buddy! to all those sleepless nights T_T

oh yes and i was wearing titus' blazer! imbued with his aura and power! mwahaha...

phew. tired.

slau updated @ 2:43 AM

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