Well of Illusions!

Sunday, July 1, 2007

OKOK the following post is strictly only for those with a regular heartbeat and a normal sex drive so, neo? cannot read k :D

yo momma's so ugly:

a fly wouldn't sit on her
her doctor is a veterinarian
her mum had to be drunk to breastfeed her
her mum had to tie a steak round her neck to get the dog to play with her
her vibrator turned limp
i heard that your dad first met her at a pound
i wouldn't screw her with a stolen dick!
i've seen cow pies i'd rather do it with
just after she was born, her mother said "what a treasure!" and her father said, "yes, let's go bury it!"
people dress up as her for Halloween
she could curdle urine
she has to get her vibrator drunk first
she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning
she looks like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle
she makes my arse pucker
she practises birth-control by leaving the lights on
she won't even play with herself
they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
they use her in prison to cure sex offenders
yo daddy rather kiss her arse than look in her face

yo momma's so stupid:

she got fired from a blow-job
she got fired from the M&M's factory for throwing away all the W's
she jumped out the window and went up
she ordered a cheeseburger from MacDonald's and said "Hold the cheese"
she ordered her sushi well done
she put a quarter in the parking meter and waited for the gumball to come out
so saw a sign saying wet floor, so she did
she thinks menopause is a button on the stereo
she thinks softball is a venereal disease
she tried to commit suicide by jumping off the curb

yo momma's so fat:

all the restaurants in town have signs that say: maximum occupancy: 240 patrons or your momma
at the zoo elephants started throwing her peanuts
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
i had to take the train a two buses just to get on her good side
i got lost while trying to walk around her
i tried to drive around her and ran out of gas
she can use Mt Everest for a dildo
she fell in love and broke it
she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic
she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth
she's 36-24-36, but that's her forearm, neck and thigh
she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook
she's on both sides of the family
she sits on coals and farts out a diamond
the horse on her polo shirt is real
when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her five years to live
you couldn't tell where her boobs end and her arms begin

slau updated @ 4:03 PM

-------------------------------